"Potty Lessons"

Any parent knows- or at least remembers, if they are now older and wiser and seasoned by years- the wonderful world of diapers and toilet-related issues. In my lifetime, I never would have guessed that I will probably change more diapers, wipe more fannies, clean more accidents than just about anything else (other than fixing meals, of course!)....and I'm not even including my own! And let me tell you- not much grosses me out anymore. I've even perfected the art of plugging my nose, without using hands (you know, the way you do when you swim), if ever I sense an especially odiferous diaper change ahead of me. As we've now been journeying on the wonderful adventure of diapering for 6+ years, what a glorious feeling it is to come to the "Ah! At last! I think we're confidently potty-trained now!" moment. Or at least to know that- during the waking hours- they have finally 'got it'. We have had an array of experiences thus far. We are believers in 'infant potty training', as it is done in most parts of the world other than the Western World.  Yes, the first year is pretty much all about parental ambition, making sure we take the child regularly to the potty and stay on top of that.  And our children have all quickly figured out 'what to do' when they're held over the potty, i.e. go potty!  Presently, Little Man will wake up in the morning or from a nap, and we will wait for me to bring him into the potty before he goes; as soon as I hold him over and make our lovely 'sssss' sound in his ear, he successfully empties his bladder (or more). Ah. What a great feeling! And we know it's not just a fluke, especially now seeing our fourth child regularly try to go when he's put over the potty, even if it's simply a drop or two- bless their heart, they do 'get it'!  As long as it's done 'joyfully' and without any negativity accompanying it, we have seen how it truly can work. In the very least, the children know what the potty is for from the very beginning, and they know what they're supposed to do in it.

Now, after that long prelude, I would like to share with you where I have evidently failed in our potty endeavors. My oldest son, L, has gone on a roller-coaster potty ride since the get-go. He was potty trained around 2 yrs old, but has had stretches of accidents since then... some stretches much longer than seemed 'normal'. For a time I thought, "Oh, so this is just yet another way boys are different than girls!"; then we wondered if maybe he had diabetes or some medical issue, as it was a daily occurrence, and a multiple one at that. In fact, it seemed that he chose to never actually go to the potty, and would rather sit in wet undies until we noticed he was wet, in which he would even complain about having to go and change the wet underwear! But just before Christmas and all the way through to after New Year's, our sweet Honey was taking daily (sometimes more than one) showers to clean the horrid mess he let out in his pants....and acting as though he was completely unaware of the present he was leaving for us to discover who-knows-how-long after it was 'delivered'. I was beginning to finally think we were dealing with some rare medical issue that we were going to have to tackle this new year. But before going down that road, I posed a question to my son, my darling son who was toweling off in an adorable frog bath towel, now smelling so fresh and clean (as I was dipping nasty, goopy Buzz Lightyear underwear up and down in the toilet to get excess poo off, struggling to keep my nose 'plugged' all the while):

Me: L, what's going on here? You've been doing this now for almost two weeks, every single day. I don't know what to do anymore, Buddy. It's really disgusting, really gross. Don't you think?

L: Yeah, it's definitely dis-stusting, Mama.

Me: You think so, too? Good. Because I was starting to think you liked it!

L: No! Eeeew!

Me: Hmmm. Okay. Well... then what are we going to do? You can't keep doing this, L. I need you to figure something out, because Mama and Papa really don't know what to do anymore.

L: I know! I need potty lessons!

Me: Uh... what?

L: I need potty lessons! You know, Mama. Like, you probably gave potty lessons to C (who is 2 years younger than him) and that's why she doesn't go potty in her pants anymore... and, I think you just never gave me potty lessons....or maybe I just forgot.

Me: Potty Lessons. Okay. I'll talk with Papa about that, and we'll start lessons tomorrow.

That night, I told B that we had made a serious parenting mistake with our boy. We had forgotten to give him potty lessons. Wow. How on earth did we forget to do such a thing?!?! :)
I decided that, if L thinks potty lessons are the solution, then by golly potty lessons it would be!!
So the next morning when he woke up...

Me: Guess what, L?!! We're going to start Potty Lessons today!!!! Are you excited?!

L: Yes!!!!!!

Me: Okay, so here's what we're going to do: I am going to set my watch alarm to go off every hour, and when you hear the alarm, you have to go potty. Even if you don't have to go, you still have to run to the potty and try. And then, wash your hands, and you get to put a sticker on this here potty chart. If you go poo-poo in the potty, you get two stickers. And if you go to the potty without even be told to go, you get a bonus sticker!!

L: Yes!!!! This is going to be fun, Mama! I will not have an accident today! I promise!

And guess what? We're now on Day 6 of "Potty Lessons" and you want to know what his grade in this class is?  100%. Seriously. His record number of stickers thus far was 15 one day!!
So, moral of the story? I suppose you could come up with a few....
-Stickers and incentive charts rock. Especially "Toy Story" stickers.
-Every child is different (how often are we, parents, reminded of this?!)
-Don't forget to give your child 'potty lessons'
-Boys are boys and really have no time to stop playing- even if it means sacrificing their dignity, their cleanliness, and their body odor, and instead sitting in their own poo.

So, here's hoping and praying for many many more 'perfect potty days' ahead for my boy.