An Apple....or 2 or 3....Keeps the.... Doctor Away??

I'm not sure this good ol' adage is going to cut it at our house. In fact, I think it may be a dangerous recommendation at this point with this set of children.
Frankly, I'm more concerned that, rather than keeping anything or anybody away from our house,  they're going to invite the bugs into our house!
Explanation? Yes, of course...

Today.... well, I'll start off by saying: My children LOVE apples.
Even the baby gleefully requests "Bapple!!" daily, as he watches his brothers and sisters sumptuously crunch into a shiny, crunchy, delectable, juicy apple. The only one at this point missing out on this daily delight is my oldest darling daughter, M, who has faithfully and dutifully obeyed her Doctor and, alas, cannot indulge in this 'forbidden fruit' until the braces come off!

But their love affair with apples is perhaps going to need some self-control and better habit-training; a point that was clearly and repeatedly brought to my attention over- and over-and over again today.
Let me show you what I mean....

It all started when I noticed the oldest brother crunching on an apple delightedly, and thoughtfully running into the kitchen to grab an apple for his brother. Aw, how sweet and thoughtful. Made me smile. A few moments later, after getting several mouthwatering crunches in, the two brothers set down their apples simultaneously on the kitchen table and proceeded to head outside to continue their afternoon  boys' play, assuring me they'd 'be back soon' to finish them off:

Then, moments later, I noticed the middle sister merrily crunching into an apple of her very own, as she was busily and contentedly coloring something in the school room... Shortly after, I noticed two more apples suddenly sitting on the kitchen counter (while the other two apples were still left forlornly waiting to be retrieved on the kitchen table):

At this point, I was doing a quick clean up around the house, and became aware that something strange was going on here.....another apple lying just outside the laundry room:

And another sitting on the girls' bed:

Oh yes, yet another on the interrupted, unfinished Thomas the Train board game:

I collected the apples from the house and set them down on the counter, amused by how many different shapes and sizes, bit and bites each apple displayed. Mind you, the other two apples were still sitting on the table, waiting patiently for the brothers to return and claim them:

But wait! Lest you think this comedy over, yet another is soon discovered tapping the ivories:

At this point, it's more amusing to me than anything. Seriously??? Is this a joke?? I looked around to see if anybody was hiding and snickering in a corner as I discover another apple so daintily set upon the soft couch pillow, almost like an offering upon a plush, royal pillow:

And, thank goodness I discovered (before the ants or roaches) the next apple that, I assume, had inadvertently rolled under the futon (most likely sending its owner back to the kitchen in search of a new apple to replace the 'lost' one- ah yes, I believe I'm catching on here):

Aha! Caught ya! This little guy never received an apple from me today! Oh ho no! But- if I was a
bettin' woman, I'd put my money on one of his big brothers! Most likely one of them took pity upon the little beggar, as he - oh so irresistibly- cried out "Bapple? Bapple?", with his wistful, larger-than-life, dreamy blue eyes and melt-your-heart smile:

 CRUNCH!!!!  (Unfortunately, I didn't get a snap of it, but what you don't see here is that he actually had set down another apple.  Yep, you heard right: two apples! One in each hand, double-fisting it! One bite from this one, one bite from that one....a merry ol' time for this apple glutton!):

 So, now I stacked up the apples that I could gather (some had now been re-claimed, or were still being bit into, so I was only able to grab enough to satisfy 7 dwarves):

Unbelievable. A family meeting will be called to discuss our new "Irwin Apple Rules":
1. The proper way to request an apple from an adult only: No more 'help yourselves'!
2. The proper way to eat an apple: Every. Last. Bite.... except for the seeds and the stem. From one apple. Not two. Not three. Not one in each hand. Nope. And before even thinking about being done, look and test and taste: If there's any 'crunch' left, sit back down: it's not done!
3. The proper way to dispose of an apple: First, show Mama/Papa, to see if you receive permission to be done. If so, then dispose in the sink or trash only. If no, sit back down and finish it up!
4. The proper way to share an apple with the baby: Um, let's just say: Nope. No sharing. Only Mama/Papa doles out sliced apples to the baby. And it will be one at a time.

So. That's that. Lessons learned, Apples eaten. The rest of the day went by without any more apple discoveries, thankfully.......

Until dinnertime. Going to the freezer to grab something, lo and behold! A frozen apple creation to behold:

Flabbergasted Me: "What is this all about?"
Innocent child: "Oh! We almost forgot about that! It's a special secret apple dessert! We wanted to try and see what it would be like to freeze it, after we put maple syrup on it!"
Sigh. Well.....at least this one hadn't been bitten into yet!!!! (Have you ever seen/touched a frozen apple? This was a new experience for me! It was rock solid.)

Irwin Apple Lesson #5. Apples will remain where Mama puts them. No 'special secret desserts'  allowed. And no more experiments in the freezer.