Some of you have already received this in the mail, but thought we'd make use of wonderful technology and get this up on the blog, too.... though, it doesn't look nearly as 'fancy' and impressive as the actual letter itself. Oh well- just imagine cute family pictures and a newspaper format, and voila! That's what the original letter looks like. If you'd like an actual hard copy with pictures and cute layout, let me know and I'll happily send you one. Otherwise... without further delay:
THE IRWIN TRIBUNE ~ Volume No. 7, Issue 1 ~ THE IRWIN TRIBUNE
On the HomeFront
Another year gone by, another city explored, another babe on the way... Read up on all this & more of the Irwin’s exciting news in this year’s annual Irwin Tribune.........
Horse Capital Country of the World!
Much to our editor’s shame, no newsletter was sent out last year, so this issue has to serve double-duty for the one-year absence! We left off two years ago in quaint lil’ Belleville, IL, just a stone’s throw from St. Louie. Fast-forward to 2009, and would anyone be surprised to find the Irwins in a completely new town again?! Yes, as of Sept. 2008. these vagabonds hit the road again & sought warmer weather in John Travolta’s neck of the woods & the “Horse Capital Country of the World”: Ocala, Florida. Though they claim Florida is not their ‘ideal place’ to settle down, they decided to set up camp for at least a few years (!), bought a home, and are quickly getting established in their new town, getting to know the local jockies on a first-name basis (or at least admiring the sport from afar!).2010 promises much excitement for the Irwins, foremost being their upward climb in society to the “MiniVanClub”.
-Don’t worry! More on page 2...
Breaking News!
We are so very pleased to announce that another Irwin babe is on the way, scheduled to arrive early this May! Although Maia & Liam are praying & utterly convinced that this time around will bear the double fruit of twins, our midwife is certain we will only be adding one little Irwin to the mix this time! Watch our website for this round of “Irwin Family Trivia”! www.irwinsong.blogspot.com
LIAM’S LATEST JOKE FOR OUR READERS:
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!!
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!!
Maia’s Tea Party Etiquette
Our lil’ Hostess with the Mostess has struck again, this year with some very important tips on how to throw the very best, fanciest tea party in town that will no doubt leave your guests begging for more. Some non-negotiables according to Maia:
1. Invite all your friends with homemade, fancy invitations!
2. Fancy attire is a must! The fancier, the better! Go all out!
3. Manners are essential:
-“Please” and “Thank You”, of course!
-“Excusez-moi”, if you spill or burp!
4. Decorate your table extra fancy.
5. Call everyone “dah-ling” for fun!
6. Wipe your mouth with your napkin after every few bites!
2. Fancy attire is a must! The fancier, the better! Go all out!
3. Manners are essential:
-“Please” and “Thank You”, of course!
-“Excusez-moi”, if you spill or burp!
4. Decorate your table extra fancy.
5. Call everyone “dah-ling” for fun!
6. Wipe your mouth with your napkin after every few bites!
7. Serve lots & lots of yummy treats... just not too much sugar, or you’ll get sick!
8. Smile! (you’re having fun, so this should be easy!)
8. Smile! (you’re having fun, so this should be easy!)
Mr. & Mrs.Irwin
This was another busy year for the Irwins! Maia, Liam, & Chiara gained their first two cousins, with one more on the way. The Irwins racked up gas miles & frequent flier miles with all their travels to visit family & friends (MN, IL, NY, NC, SC). Brendan continues to work as a prosthetist/orthotist for Hanger. While greatly enjoying his job, he races home each day to get back to far more important things, like coaching little league soccer, going to Bible Study, updating fantasy football lineups, or trying yet another new paint color on the wall to determine the perfect color scheme. He’s currently trying to decide between grad school & flight lessons at the airfield down the street. Michelle continues her multi-billion dollar job as Domestic Engineer, finding way too much free time on her hands. When she’s not working as a tutor for Maia’s homeschool group (“Classical Conversations”), teaching piano lessons, singing at Mass & at little gigs around town, cooking, cleaning, potty-training or reading, she may be found starting new adventures around the house, like sprouting or gardening. She’s excited to be starting a women’s group at church, with the program “ENDOW,” & is greatly enjoying pregnancy #4, very eager to meet this new little addition to the family! Addr: 4970 SW 40th Pl, Ocala FL 34474
Sir Liam StinkyFeet
Perspective is everything... one man’s trash is another man’s treasure; one child’s chronic problem with odors may be a parent’s perfect opportunity for storytime tales... Well, with that lead in, we want to bring you up to speed with the Superhero living in our home. Rather than list all his amazing feats, we want to retell one of Liam’s latest adventures (or at least what he believes recently happened!) Without further ado: Once upon a time, there was a fearless knight known as “Sir Liam StinkyFeet.” He was the bravest, kindest knight in all of Irwinia. His days were spent tackling villains, wrestling ugly trolls, & saving the beautiful Princesses Maia & Chiara from danger. (His night job was as a stand-up comedian, taking audiences by storm with his original ‘medley of funny faces’ routine and his one-liners). One day Sir Liam heard a scream coming from the Royal Irwin Castle. A horrible, fire-breathing dragon was trying to kidnap the Princesses! Sir Liam mustered all of his 3 1/2 year old chutzpah, mounted his horse, & raced towards the castle to confront the evil dragon. The dragon took one look at Sir Liam & laughed, but Sir Liam stood his ground & dared him to fight. He began to charge, but Sir Liam got ready: he jumped off his horse, pulled off his boots, & stuck his feet up in the air, pointed strategically towards the dragon. Ready to pummel Sir Liam with scorching hot flames, the loathsome beast took a deep breath, but was suddenly overcome with a stench so strong that he began to cough & choke. The mystery odor was more than he could bear, and within seconds he plummeted to the ground, succumbed to his pitiful death, just inches from Sir Liam’s bare feet. The Princesses ran out to see if he was alright, & there was Sir Liam, lacing up his boots next to the dead dragon. They were all safe! All in a day’s work for Sir Liam! After a town celebration , Sir Liam rode home & slept soundly. But to this day, no one knows why their beloved hero is called “Sir Liam StinkyFeet”, & why he sleeps with his boots on... no one that is, except the dragon!
(Editor’s note: Any medical conditions implied in story are purely fictitious, & any resemblance to reality are purely coincidental...unless you ask Liam!)
Sisterly Love
Two Christmases ago, we updated you on the lovely up & coming star, Maia Therese. Now 5 years old, this leading lady has blossomed into quite the accomplished soccer player, pianist, violinist, author, songwriter, tea party hostess, and chess/checkers champion. Her greatest accomplishments thus far? “Helping deliver my baby sister as Mama’s doula, & making my First Communion this December.” (The momentous Eucharistic Day took place on Dec. 20th at Queen of Peace, Ocala). That little 18 month old sister she’s referring to has certainly made her presence known in the Irwin family! Chiara Rose may be the third-born, & she may be lovingly doted on as “my widdle peanut” by her brother, but this little lady has rightfully earned her endearing nickname as “The Diva” with her unflinching feist and spirited spunk! She may be teeny, but Goliath would be wise to surrender to this little blue-eyed pistol rather than get in her way! Perhaps the only thing to phase this darlin’ might be... a new sibling?!
And there you have it, folks!
Hope you enjoyed our annual family newsletter.
Stay tuned for the 'conclusion' to our Family's "Breaking News" editorial above!
