"Tradition, Tradition!"

Tradition....
What's the point? Why bother doing things again and again each year, taking time out of our already-too-busy schedule, not to mention making a point to put yet another thing on Mama's plate to prep for and do with the children? Seriously. Is it really worth it all?

My conclusion: Absolutely, positively, without hesitation or question- of course! Yes, indeed!
In fact, I daresay, these 'traditions' that I am slowly learning about myself, and making a point to incorporate into our family culture, are perhaps one of the most important things I can be sure to do with the precious little souls entrusted to me- especially in this time we live in, where everyone thinks there is "something new under the sun", and yet always falls short of quite finding that 'something new'...I wonder why! Perhaps because we were indeed created to be liturgical, tradition-driven beings. We breathe in and out without a thought to how our very breath, our heartbeats, our internal organs are all sustained by the unseen hand of God by repetition, by pattern, by constant, ongoing cycles. And yet the world tries to tell us otherwise- that we must 'break away', create something new, become something different and better than the past, as though the past is something to be avoided and resisted at all costs, on all levels. You can see this in the government, the school system, the modern music of our culture, the "new and improved" products on the shelves, and even in the hip/cool churches boasting the best "contemporary" worship music and 'styles' (as though worship has different styles to try out!). We are encouraged to pave a new way, and ultimately a better way. And yet... all I can see is the mess and chaos, confusion and unfulfillment that philosophy has brought us.

A good friend recently told me of an article she had read, discussing the reason why most college students end up leaving the Faith/Religion they were brought up with. What do you think the most common answer was? I was actually surprised....though, then again, not really. The reason most college age people today leave the faith they were raised with, and either covert to something else or simply choose no religion at all, is for this reason: hey don't remember it having an impact on their parents' lives, didn't noticeably bring them joy or affect their daily lives positively.
Pretty powerful statement, eh? It certainly caused me to pause and reflect. Wow. How am I doing with this? Do I live out my faith joyfully, making a regular point to "show" my children in what I think, say, and do how my Catholic Faith is everything to me? Do they know how important my faith life is to me each day? Do I "walk the walk", and not just "talk the talk"?

I can say for certain that my children have made me a better person. They cause me to truly look at myself and reflect on what's really important to me. How do I spend my 'spare' time? What do I find myself thinking about the most, when my mind isn't already preoccupied with 'little people' thoughts?
And in all of these things, do I live a life of joy and hope, peace and love, and gratitude?? Do my children see this, feel this, know this, and ... want this, too? I pray that they do, for if not- I will have not done my job well, and I have myself to blame if they are not affected by the Faith in my life while they are under my roof.

So, back to "Traditiiiooooooon, Tradition! Traditiiiooon, Tradition!" These little traditions that I make a point to incorporate each year into our little domestic Church (and attempt to grow upon and add to each year)... all the little things we do for Advent and Lent, the stories we read on Feast Days, the special prayers we pray, the songs we learn and sing, the little crafts or snacks we use to symbolize special things.... all these 'little' things might just not be so little after all. In fact, they may just be the glue that holds us together! The Church breathes in and out with traditions- and what beauty that brings, what depth and richness that fills our lives with! How much I look forward to the lighting of the Advent candles at Mass each year, pointing out the different vestment colors worn by Father to represent the liturgical seasons, waiting eagerly to finally say and sing "Alleluia!" on Easter after a Lent full of penance and somber waiting, attending the Stations of the Cross and coming home to a simple soup dinner each week during Lent... the memories of these things experienced year after year after year. They are cemented into my head and imprinted onto my heart forever. The smell of incense will always send me back to the parish I grew up in; walking the Stations of the Cross will always transport me back in time to my elementary school days at St. John's, where our class participated every week of Lent in this beautiful walk with Christ through his Passion...

I am no Saint, but I believe that all these traditions, these 'little things' that were done over and over each year as a part of my faith life as a Catholic...all these things shaped and formed me, wooed me into a deeper friendship with our Lord, brought me always 'back home' in my heart. And though I don't know where/what my children will be 20 years from now, I pray that they, too, will remember with deep fondness all the "little things" of traditions that I am now trying to weave into our home, that it might become part of the fabric of their lives forever, always reminding them and bringing them back to the joy of Christ that I hope I exude (albeit imperfectly!) and give to them.

One of the most inspiring books I read recently was the Story of Maria Von Trapp. Oh, the Catholic Culture that she lived with her family! So beautiful, and so...simple! They celebrated the liturgical year with simple traditions, year after year. The children knew what to expect, though each year it became more and more meaningful to each of them as they got older and as they had younger siblings to explain things to and share them with! I see that with my own children, though I wouldn't say we have gotten to the point where even the oldest know 'exactly what to expect each year', since Mama is still figuring things out and trying to implement what I am learning.  While I may not manage to tackle every single Feast Day or Liturgical event that I would really like to, I do attempt to hit many throughout the year.  And I know that I know that I know that my children do remember many of these things we have been doing for a few years, even though it's only been a few years of doing them! My heart swoons whenever they talk of birthday celebrations from several years ago and all that they remember from that particular 'dinosaur birthday party' or "Hobbit birthday" or "Storybook birthday", etc. To know that these memories remain within them and are all part of their childhood memories makes every late night of planning, every burn from the oven during late-night baking, every hour spent scouring the internet for ideas, and every minute past 2am worth it to me!!!

This year for Advent, they were the ones reminding me what we were going to do this year during the Advent Season, and they have really begun to take more ownership in these little traditions- how precious to a mother's heart! Our Advent this year has been full to overflowing with little things each day that I have somehow (so far!) managed to faithfully do with the kids: lighting the Advent candle at lunch and praying a special Advent prayer for the day, along with the Angelus prayer; incorporating the family tree of Christ each day with a "Jesse Tree" ornament they each made last year and hanging it on our specially decorated Advent Tree (a new tradition I was excited to start this year- a lovely real tree- for the first time ever!- decorated simply with purple ornaments, silver ribbon, and white lights, and then Jesse Tree ornaments added to branches each day); reading special stories each day during Storytime, including a special Advent book that is specifically meant to be read as a family during Advent (this year's selection is "Jotham's Journey" by Arnold Ytreeide- wonderful book!)   Here's where it can be found:
http://www.amazon.com/Jothams-Journey-Storybook-Arnold-Ytreeide/dp/0825441749/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1386824732&sr=1-1&keywords=jotham%27s+journey

The kids are also making little sacrifices each day that earn them a piece of straw to add to the little empty manger bed, hoping to fill it up with lots of soft hay so Baby Jesus will have an especially soft bed to lay in on Christmas Eve; looking for the naughty 3 Wise Men that hide all around the house, as they journey along looking for the Messiah; reading Saint stories and celebrating the special feast days of these Saints in various ways (St. Nicholas, St. Lucia, Our Lady of Guadalupe, etc.) Ah yes! A very special time with the children- all traditions we have started in our little family, and intend to keep alive each year. Without a doubt, I see how these 'little things' grab their attention, create an eagerness and environment of joy that helps us to truly await the coming of our Savior on his birthday! This year a friend of mine even put together a list of specifically Advent music selections to help us focus on the fact that it's not yet Christmas. So we haven't cracked open the Christmas hymns/carols yet (yes, hard to not do for sure....those catchy Christmas tunes are so tempting!!!!), but have rather been listening to and trying to learn the more appropriate Advent selections of music that reflect the virtues of peace, hope, joy, and love emphasized each week of Advent. I marvel at how rich and how deep are the treasures of our Church- so much to learn, so much to love! And I truly never tire of learning new things, thanks be to God!

So, these little traditions might not be such a 'thing of the past', pointless, and silly to incorporate into my children's lives after all, eh?! In fact, they connect us to the larger universal Church around the world, and ground us in time and space in a way that most things offered by the world today simply cannot do. The ancient Jews understood the importance of their ancestry- they were proud of where they came from, and it greatly affected how they saw themselves. Are we so far above and beyond this that we insist on forgetting where we've come from? I hope not, but I fear so. Thank God for our ancestors, for the heritage they gave us, for the traditions they passed on from one generation to the next. I hope we do as a culture do not think ourselves so above this that we lose our very identity by trying so hard to create a new one. As for me and my family, we will march forward in Christ and forge our way, but not without remembering the past and bringing pieces of it with us, claiming it in our lives, and hopefully always learning from it.

Our Lady, most perfect of all mothers, pray for me to reflect joy and peace, hope and love to my children, that they would see, feel, and know how much your Son means to me; may I fall more and more in love with Him each day, that my zeal would bubble up and over, into each one of my children as well! And may they desire always to know, love, and serve you, Lord, that we would all be happy with You, and with one another, forever someday in Heaven.
Amen.

Now I'm really in the mood to watch Fiddler on the Roof with the kids!!

"History is the witness that testifies to the passing of time; it illumines reality, vitalizes memory, provides guidance in daily life and brings us tidings of antiquity." 
~Cicero (106 BC-43 BC)

Inspired...by puppets!

Tonight I had the privilege of attending a performance of "Die Zauberflote", or Mozart's Magic Flute, an opera done by marionettes! It was put on by the Salzburg Marionette Theatre at the UF Phillips Performing Arts Center. It was brilliant, in my opinion! I was not sitting up as close as I should have been, due to a sleeping baby on my lap, but I was still able to experience the entire show, thanks be to God! A tender mercy on HIs part, no doubt, with prayers ahead of time said for the 'sedation by milk' of Little Guy!!  He fell asleep 10 minutes into the show, and I settled in to experience this unique performance. It is the 100 year anniversary of this theatre company, and I have never seen anything so realistic I was astounded! I had to remind myself often that I was actually watching puppets, not real people! I thought their interpretation/adaptation of this particular opera was very well done. I brought the three oldest children (and baby, too), who were all very well-prepared to see the show. We had already read the opera (via storybook version from The Barefoot Book of Opera-  http://www.amazon.com/The-Barefoot-Book-Stories-Opera/dp/1902283287/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385530592&sr=8-1&keywords=barefoot+book+of+opera), as well as listened to the music for several music appreciation lessons, and learned several things about Mr. Mozart himself. So the children came in with a great deal of prior knowledge of the story and music, having listened to a good deal of the music, learned about and analyzed the different characters, discussed the various vocal ranges, and even watched several scenes from the Met Opera's version. Let me tell you- that is the way to go and see a production! The more children know about a performance ahead of time, the more engaged they will be and will truly appreciate what they are experiencing at the theatre (or a concert, art show, play, etc).

I do have to say- my very favorite part of the evening actually came after the production. I took my 7 year old, L, to the bathroom before we headed home, and while waiting outside the stall for him, I was treated to the most delightful, comical reenactment of the character Papageno from my son (though he was completely unaware of his audience, i.e. me and two other older ladies washing their hands and chuckling to themselves as well, as we all listened to L's dramatic rendition behind the stall!)

Have a look at this fabulous company. There is a neat little video on their homepage, and if you google them on youtube, there are several clips from their various shows, including the one we saw tonight-

http://www.marionetten.at

Now, to the inspiration part mentioned in my title...
There is something marvelously inspiring and I daresay transcendental about experiencing a live production/concert. I don't know yet how to quite explain it, but I'll try. I found myself sitting in the audience, watching this production, my heart swelling with excitement over new ideas swirling around my head, all triggered from the experience of attending this live performance. The creative juices were fast flowing! I have had this same experience at orchestral concerts and other theatre events. I find ideas bubbling up within me, and - especially at orchestra performances- my spirit soars within me, the desire to create so powerful and strong. Tonight I decided that I will begin to write an opera...I am already forming the story plot and characters in my head, and I believe it will be an opera for children. I have wanted to write more for so long- something I've said and thought about for many years, yet simply never 'get around' to actually doing. Until now. My sister in law invited me to be a part of her Writing Club- basically it's a way of keeping each there accountable to write something everyday, for 15-30 minutes. Hence, the resurrection of this blog! And how satisfying it has been these past 4 days to be writing, to have a motivation to write, to force myself to ponder, to think, and to put my thoughts down on paper! It feels so good, to say the least! Thank you, Sis-in-law, for the invitation to join the "Key Strokes" writing club. How good it is to be motivated to do something I have thought about/said I'd do/planned to eventually do/wished I could/dreamed about/hoped to do- and never got around to ever doing...until now! :)

So, my thanks to the Salzburg Marionette Puppets for inspiring me tonight to embark on a new adventure- writing my own opera! Who knows how long it will take to complete, but for now, I'm just excited to get started!

Signing off....to get started on my opera story line!

In being like Him...we glorify Him and fulfill our purpose

"In being like Him- In creating, in speaking, in naming, in tending- we glorify Him. And we fulfill our purpose." ~Andrew Kern, Circe Institute  
(http://www.circeinstitute.org/blog/purpose-goodness-and-imagination-god)

In Creating, Speaking, Naming, and Tending, we are most like Our Creator.  How profound. Perhaps that is why I find such deep joy in creating/writing music, in creating curriculum and lesson plans to use with my children, in creating 'something from nothing' when I sew, in singing.... even in the simple- yet momentous and unchanging- moment of naming/christening my children with the name they will have from that moment on until, well, forever, I believe.

Tonight I am thinking much on the idea of how, in speaking, we glorify God and become more like Him, and thus fulfill our purpose. Perhaps I will write more later on the other aspects of being like Him, but tonight I'm focusing my thoughts on speaking- specifically words and stories.

I have always had an appreciation for words. From very young, my father instilled in me a love for reading. How I cherish pictures I have seen of me and Dad sitting on a couch: Dad reading to me, and I obviously engrossed in the story. What a gift he gave me! Thus was set the foundation and love affair I would forever have with words. Thanks to Dad, he raised me as a Lover of Stories. How I hope this is a legacy I will pass on to my own children! I believe you could say that I revere, in a sense, the power of words. I love the quote, "The pen is mightier than the sword!" (-Edward Bulwer-Lyttton) In fact, a friend of mine has taught me much through sharing with me about her own studies of fairy tales- how words, stories in fact, have the power to teach virtue, to transform, to build a solid foundation of morality and fertile ground for virtue in a child's soul . If a child is read fairy tales throughout their childhood, they are not simply being told silly, unrealistic, magical stories that have no place in the 'real world'. No! Quite the contrary!!!

One of my favorite homeschool teachers, Mr. Andrew Pudewa (http://www.excellenceinwriting.com) has given numerous talks and webinars about the idea that reading/teaching fairy tales to children is perhaps one of the most important things we can do with them (aside from modeling virtue to them by our own lives, of course!) Think of all they learn through fairy tales! Good and Evil are very clearly defined; the protagonist has a problem that must be overcome, and he/she must persevere to succeed; the hero becomes a hero through the trials and tests he/she must go through- they aren't simply born a hero; virtue is praised and held up as something to be desired and worked for; evil is shown for what it really is and certainly not candy-coated or justified....  think of it! Think of the childhood stories you remember and were such a part of the makeup of your imagination! I see them now, of course, through different 'adult lenses', but when I stop and take those glasses off and try to remember hearing these stories as a child- ah! Yes! How much sense they made, how much comfort and safety and satisfaction I found in hearing that the the Big Bad Wolf was killed by the huntsman (Little Red Riding Hood), and the Evil Stepmother was sentenced to dance in the glass slippers until her death (Cinderella), how Pinocchio overcame his vice of lying and thus became a real boy through his choice to do good and not evil, how Belle's character- kindness, compassion, and humility- are truly what saved her and her family (not so much her outer beauty- I'm not talking the Disney watered-down versions here!), and how the evil witch's demise was her own undoing in the fiery oven (Hansel and Gretel); how much joy and hope I found in hearing each of these 'happy-ever-after' endings. As a child, I never tired of the 'fairy tale formula' in these stories. Instead, they seemed to teach and reinforce something True already written on my soul from the beginning.

"The natural law is written and engraved in the soul of each and every man, because it is human reason ordaining him to do good and forbidding him to sin." ~ CCC (part 3) 1954:5

Some may scoff at the notion of these types of endings...and yet, isn't that what we all long for in our heart of hearts? A "Happily Ever After" type ending?! We all long for true love, for perfect justice, and complete happiness. We all desire good to win over evil. We all should want to be the best version of ourselves as we can be, shouldn't we? After all, that is  our purpose! So, it should not surprise or alarm us when our children are naturally drawn to fairy tales. They are the 'stuff' that our world is truly made of, when you look with child-like eyes! And if I'm still unconvincing, how about this noteworthy quote from someone much more intelligent and wiser than me:

"If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales."  ~Albert Einstein 


Though not perfect, I would like to think that out of this reverence for the power of language, I have been one to 'choose my words carefully'. I have seen how words can tear people down, and how words can bring someone from despair to hope and joy. I have personally recognized in my own life the way that words can inspire, bring hope, send my soul soaring beyond explanation- as well as the way words can crush and destroy. I have seen in my own children's faces the way words spoken to them can cause them to instantly become excited and inspired, as well as the way they can immediately, to my own heartache, break and crush their little spirit. Some Words from Scripture to back up the incredible power found in words:

~Death and life are in the power of the tongue: they that love it, shall eat the fruits thereof.  ~ Prov 18:21
~And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is placed among our members, which defileth the whole body, and inflameth the wheel of our nativity, being set on fire by hell.  ~James 3:6
~The tongue of the just is as choice silver: but the heart of the wicked is nothing worth.  ~Prov 10:20
~Let no evil speech proceed from your mouth; but that which is good, to the edification of faith, that it may administer grace to the hearers.  ~Eph 4:29
~Let your speech be always in grace seasoned with salt: that you may know how you ought to answer every man.  ~Col 4:6
~The words of the mouth of a wise man are grace: but the lips of a fool shall throw him down headlong.  ~Eccl 10:12


We never know what sorts of words will connect with another person. Sometimes I am surprised by words in a homily at Mass, or words that resonate deep within me from a movie I watch or from a novel I am reading; less surprising, though no less important, are words I can count on being inspired by in stories of the Saints. Our Lord Himself is the Word. So, the idea that words are more than simply letters on a page is not so far-fetched.

My our mouths speak Truth and only serve to bless, praise, uplift, encourage, and admonish one another. And may our minds be filled to overflowing with the goodness and virtues packed into fairy tales and stories! Amen.

Imitation- the greatest teacher

"The most important thing every teacher should understand is that teaching is the art of being imitated. If you want a student to perceive a truth, you have to embody it. That's what teaching is. When you teach, whether you intend to or not, you are saying to your students, "Imitate me." Make yourself worth of imitation. You can teach with any method you like, but the only way your student will become truly virtuous is if you, as his teacher or parent, embody Truth."
~Andrew Kern, Circe Magazine
(http://www.circeinstitute.org/blog/children-and-imitation-imitation2014)

"Childhood of Christ" - Gerrit van Honthorst, 1620

Yikes. Pretty hefty realization there. I think of the immense responsibility God has gifted us with- the raising and rearing of His precious souls, our children. It brings to mind the saying, "Do as I say, not as I do." Ha! What a laughable falsity it is! I truly wonder how much of our words actually stick with our children over the years. I think back on my own childhood… how much of the words my parents said to me do I actually really remember? Honestly….not a whole lot. Sorry, Mom and Dad! And YET, though I may not remember the words themselves, I have no doubt whatsoever that all the words (well, let's realistically say most of the words) were spoken with compassion, kindness, and love, and then they were embodied, emphasized, supported, and manifested in my parents' actions. Those words came to life- were animated- in the way they lived them out. I get it- I am hugely who I am today because of the example I received day in and day out from the influential people in my life, namely Mom and Dad. I think even of teachers that I fondly remember from my school years. I couldn't tell you any words they spoke to me verbatim. But I can tell you much of their characters and  their sincere, genuine care for their students, the time they took to make me feel valued, the passion with which they taught...

It is no surprise when my friends get to meet my parents and they mention later how much I talk or gesture like my mom! I have even marveled to myself at times when I react a certain way towards someone else and recognize the same mannerisms coming from me that I notice in my mother. Like mother, like daughter- no kidding! I see things in me that I certainly did not "do anything" to become… my temperament, my inclination towards the Arts, my 'love language', my sensitive though optimistic nature, my compassion for the handicapped… I know now as an adult that so much of this has an immense amount to do with my upbringing. I think words have only so much power as the actions that support them. And I can say this- the love I felt, knew, and trusted would be there every single day from Mom and Dad backed up every word they said (whether I would remember the actual words later or not) and taught me more than any conversation or lecture about love. What good is it to simply tell a child something, then turn around and live contrary to that? Now, I'm not saying that we shouldn't teach our children catechesis, shouldn't teach them to be perfect, simply because we fail, or for fear of being called a hypocrite. My children are all too well aware of their mother's faults and shortcomings! But I hope that each day they see that I strive to live for Christ, working towards perfection in myself, fighting to conquer my vices and grow in virtue. I share my struggles with them when we pray in the morning, asking God to help me to be a patient, always charitable and kind mother towards them. They know they're being raised by an imperfect mother. But I do believe that they know they are loved by me, through and through, and no matter my failures, I pray my actions will always reflect that love…so that my words, my lovely idealistic, hopeful words don't fall on deaf ears but are rather like seeds that fall on fertile ground, soaking up little tidbits along the way because they are being nurtured by my actions, my intentions, my motives, my attempts at the virtues, and because- by God's grace- they are imitating these things as they go.

Obviously our Lord knows He is entrusting these beautifully innocent, impressionable, naive souls to other imperfect, sinful souls that are far from perfection most of the time. I cringe at times when I recognize a look or tone of voice or phrase come from one of my children that is obviously imitating something they have heard or seen from Mama or Papa. God forgive us! But then there are those other precious moments of seeing the positive power of imitation in our children, too... times when I am so proud to be a parent, so humbled by the 'good things' they pick up and choose to imitate. One of my greatest motivations for going to daily Mass with my children, aside from my own spiritual nourishment, is the desire to give my children the daily experience of simply going, simply doing it, so they will never know otherwise, will always have daily Mass as a part of who they are, what their day includes.  What a joy to see my littlest one mimic back my words at Mass as I teach him the name of Jesus when we look at images around the church. Perhaps the most precious imitation- seeing Little Guy (14 months now) open his mouth like a little bird, imitating his mother and siblings when we approach the communion rail. Even Father mentioned this beautiful imitation to me. Or to hear the next ones in line ask "When can I 'eat Jesus' or 'When can I make my First Communion, too?" Why do they desire these things? Because we simply do them and visibly show the joy they bring to us. (i.e. I recognize that the kids pick up on drudger-ish attitudes perhaps even more so than the positive ones I hope for them to imitate!!! Don't they say that bad habits are easier to pick up than virtuous ones? Virtue must be tended and cared for and consciously grown in our characters....I think bad habits/vices often come about due to carelessness and the opposite of what grows virtue, yes?
I am careful so that won't be the 'undoing' of everything I work towards with them! In their tendency toward imitation, we are held accountable like nothing else, aren't we?!)

Obviously our Lord knows He is entrusting these beautifully innocent, impressionable, naive souls to other imperfect, sinful souls that are far from perfection most of the time. And yet…He still does it. What a mystery, what a gift, and what a puzzling sense of trust He places in us! But ah! He is Wisdom and Truth Himself, and He knows what He is doing. I have had little glimpses every now and then of His beautiful wisdom in all of this: how much a parent actually learns about love from his/her children. Here we think we are the teachers. And yet… it is a two-way street, isn't it? I have learned so much about our Heavenly Father from my children, and from the love that bursts forth from inside me- love that I do nothing to create or conjure up; it simply grows and grows because of these little souls placed in my care, and their total trust in my ability to be who they need me to be. It truly is a miracle, this thing called love.

Not only are we inevitably teaching our children by imitation, by we are to consciously be imitators as well! It is our calling. But WHAT do we find ourselves imitating most of our waking hours- Someone else that we admire? Someone we wish we were, instead of who we were created to be? Our parents? Our elders? Our spouse? Or perhaps no one at all (or at least no one we are aware of)? I suspect that we all imitate someone or some ideal, whether we are acutely aware of this or not. Every now and then you meet a unique individual that seems to 'march to the beat of their own drum'...yet, I wonder who their influence was/is, whom they are subconsciously imitating. After all, there is 'nothing new under the sun', yes?

That which has been is what will be,
That which is done is what will be done,
And there is nothing new under the sun.
~Ecc. 1:9

The one thing that can be explained in all of us, though many never come to see this (or refuse to, perhaps) is the longing within us for true, accepting, unconditional love. Not even the kind of love that is found between parents and children, friends, or husbands and wives. No….the kind of longing that is only found in Love Himself. So, while I can look at many things within me that were certainly molded and shaped and impressed upon me through imitating my parents, the ultimate imitation that my soul longs for is in imitating Christ himself. For until I line my soul up with His, all other forms of imitation will fall short, and leave me still wanting for something more.  As St. Augustine profoundly put it,

"You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you."

So yes, we march forward, praying for wisdom and prudence and humility, hoping that we are 'worthy of imitation'.  And if there are things we are not yet worthy of being imitated for, we pray for the grace to change and improve and grow virtuous by imitating Him, rather than ignore them or stay satisfied with mediocre lukewarmness. Our Lord has instructed us on exactly how we are to go about being imitators:

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." 
~Eph. 5:1-2

Simple, right?!  ;-)

INSPIRED

Last week I was inspired.
We had Mr. Barry Stebbing (http://howgreatthouart.com) here for a three-day art workshop- "Nature Drawing and Journaling." The inspiration was multi-layered...
-Mr. Stebbing and his wife, Saundra, are so passionate about teaching children to appreciate art and discover their own artistic side. He is a fabulous teacher, so encouraging and kind in his conversations with the kids and adults alike. I came away from each day of the workshop hungry to enter the world of Nature with fresh eyes and ears! Barry (Mr. Stebbing) has written over 60 journals, and he brought several of them for us to peak at, take home and pour over, and to see as examples of seasoned journals. They are different than diaries, as they are not meant to be kept private, but rather encouraged to be shared. And yet, opening any one of his beautiful journals, I truly felt like I was being invited into precious moments in another person's life, sharing special memories, stepping into his footsteps for but a season. Beautiful. Absolutely astounding- the thoughtfulness; the skill of even the least sketches in a corner or margin; the thoughts and ponderings running from his mind onto the pages; even the selections of sketches, mementos, paintings, photos, etc that were chosen for particular reasons at particular times- all these culminated in breathtaking journals that were a treasure to behold, an inspiration to be moved by. What a gift!
-Watching the children learn from such a master teacher was an indescribable inspiration. Seeing so many different kinds of children concentrating and trying so intently to create beauty from the simple tools of paper, pencils, paints, markers... and then to discover they  could do such a thing! Mmmmm. Such a beautiful scene to witness. My oldest two were signed up for the class, and I got in on as much as I could as well (when I wasn't tending to Little Guy!). I expected a wonderful experience for both of them. What I didn't expect was having my 5 year old come in and ask to join us (well, that part wasn't surprising), and do phenomenal for her age! It was a 2 1/2 hour workshop each day, and these children hung with Mr. Stebbing the whole way! The creations that resulted from this time together were nothing short of outstanding. I was especially pleased with my three children's progress and excitement over all they were learning. They couldn't wait to get home and show their father all they had done.
-On the last of the three days, Mr. Stebbing had announced there would be a journal contest for anyone who wanted to turn in a journal page. How my heart swelled the night before as all three of them sat in the kitchen, working their little hearts out to put together their pages perfectly, scouring the computer for quotes, the Bible for Scripture verses, several poetry books for fitting poems... the cut and pasted, thought and wrote, drew and colored, until they were each satisfied with their journal page to enter the contest the next day. Yes, they stayed up too late that night, no doubt. And yet- that's the stuff dreams are made of! I could tangibly feel the creativity swirling around the table that night, each one excited to be creating something new, something a part uniquely part of themselves! And the final products were stunning. Yes, I know I am absolutely biased- of course I am! And yet, what pleased and tickled my heart more than how beautiful they each turned out (biased or not- they were beautiful!), was the passion and determination and excitement I saw in each of them. Mr. Stebbing sure knows what he's doing!
-As I said, I was blessed to be able to join in on a good chunk of the workshop myself, and after three days of doing this- of perusing through his journals, of discovering how to use colors more intentionally and how to look more closely at the beauty God has surrounded us with and given to us to appreciate- I was bursting with desire to more consciously incorporate these important skills (journaling/collecting/sketching and creating) into not only my children's lives, but mine as well! Just today I found myself giddy with joy at the opportunity to walk with my children to the park and bring my own nature journal. I was able to sneak in about 15 minutes (albeit not uninterrupted!!), to quietly and intently look at a cluster of strange, bubble-like mushrooms that had cropped up in the foreign territory of cedar chips on the playground! What a delight to behold, what a thrill to attempt to 'record' them in my journal with a sketch, a description, a few notes, some color, and a short journal entry to capture the moment in time for me....and it was simply a cluster of mushrooms! (Which I am still trying to locate and classify online!) How strange to get so excited over fungus, eh?! And yet, as you can hopefully see, it was about so much more than that!

As a matter of fact, I believe it can all largely be summed up in this- contemplating God in His awesome creation around us. And in doing so, I believe it will make me, make my children, better human beings. How can one contemplate beauty and not be affected by it? How can one learn to carefully observe and appreciate the intricacies of the Master Artist's hand, and not be moved to awe and wonder? How can one ponder all that we have been freely given by our Creator, and not become a more grateful and respectful person? So....it's not just about keeping a journal and sketching what we observe....it's so much more! To seek and behold and contemplate what is True, Good, and Beautiful is to look more deeply into the eyes of God and thus begin to see with His Heart.

So, yes, it was a multi-layered week of inspiration, to say the least!
Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Stebbing, for sharing your gifts with us- yourselves being the greatest of all the gifts you so freely shared with us.
(I hope to post pictures soon!)

Remembering 10 Years Ago...

 JUNE 28, 2003 

BLESSINGS by Laura Story

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

(Chorus)

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if the thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

Chorus

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know the pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

Chorus

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy

What if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are your mercies in disguise.

TIME...

Wow! It's been almost 2 years since my last post (!) and here we are: another child (a son!), a new job for B, 10 years of marriage (anniversary tomorrow, the 28th), and everyone is, well, 2 years older!
I look back at the most recent posts years ago, and I am so amazed at the strangeness of Time. What an unexplainable thing Time is. Sometimes it seems that it goes so fast we can hardly keep up with it, and most certainly never have enough of it to accomplish everything we set out to do; other times it seems as though eons have passed and so much has happened that we've aged (or grown?) eons more than the calendar professes. I look at my children and feel this strangeness of time regularly...
-How can I have five children already?? And yet... I cannot barely remember life without them! The thought of life without any one of them now seems so...incomplete. Their lives have each enriched the hours and moments of my own life so much that... well, I cannot imagine the 'riches' I would be missing without them... yet, they've only been with me for 9 of my 35 years of life!
-And how can I have been married for ten years already?? I vividly remember so many details of our wedding day, like it was just last week! Every piece of music, the vibrant splashes of colors from my flowers, the wise variety of guests that all came to witness our special sacred day, the whole day's agenda - from pictures to the ceremony, the reception and honeymoon...
And yet... has it only been ten years? So much has happened, so many adventures and experiences, lessons and trials, so much learned about myself in such a short time...
-How can I have an almost-nine-year-old daughter?? Wasn't it just yesterday we named her and watched her sleep peacefully on my tummy, hypnotized and enchanted by this new, fresh, beautiful living Being that we had a part in creating with the Almighty God? What would she be like? Who would she blossom into and become? Everyday a joy to awaken to and behold the beauty of this Little Treasure entrusted to us. And now here we are... already approaching her ninth birthday? How can this be?? But on the otherhand...life before her seems so long ago and far away. I think of college and high school and even before that, and ... those memories are so much more distant and unfamiliar.

I think back to the person I was 10 years ago, when I was first married. I'd like to think that I'm a little bit wiser now than I was then; that I have learned a thing or two, grown up a bit more, become a bit more 'seasoned' in my thoughts and feelings. I haven't seen many people that knew me prior to these past ten years in quite awhile, having moved away and been away for about 8 years now. Would they think me the same person they remember? Or would I seem completely different to what they remember? I know I've changed in some ways over time...yet, I'm still Me.

Time, marriage, children, responsibilities.... they have a way of bringing eternity into perspective. Though I go about everyday just living and going through the day to day responsibilities that must get done, I have little 'epiphanies' every now and then and get, what I might call 'glimpses' from an eternal perspective. The description of what I realize may not seem profound to anyone else, but the understanding that lightens my heart is what makes these moments so powerful to me. I do have moments where I really feel the eyes of my heart are open to see how futile so many things are, and how important it is to strive for holiness each day, to take the utmost care of our little souls and work endlessly to guard and protect them from sin....for eternity is eternity, and our little lives here on earth, are but a blink in the span of eternity. We are already in eternity.... and yet, this short time we have here, however long we are blessed to have, determines so much of the rest of our eternity...in fact, determines the entire fate of the rest of our eternity. So, when I have these moments of really seeming to understand things in the 'bigger picture'... it is so humbling and self-convicting. I've had these moments happen often in the midst of being impatient with my children. Thanks be to God for the Holy Spirit! I don't know how many times this sort of thing has happened, and I am able to quickly take a breath and ask my children for forgiveness, then pray together for the grace to be patient and kind and the kind of mother I ought to be. Funerals are another thing that bring eternity into perspective for me. Funerals are such a blessing and gift to participate in. They bring the reality of death and life right before my eyes, and I am reminded about what we ought to be doing here with whatever time we have on earth: loving one another, loving God, trying to become Saints in this life, that we might enjoy eternity with God forever.

Oh! How temporal this life is! When I sit back and observe my children, I am struck by how their lives are so young, so fresh and new, so unaffected by the ugliness that's out there in the world. They love, they trust, they hope, they believe. They don't worry about tomorrow. They don't even plan for tomorrow; well, not in the same ways we 'mature, grown-up, responsible' adults do. They may 'plan' what fun they will have tomorrow, but the only sleep lost comes from excitement and anticipation- not worry or stress or anxiety. Their little lives are so full of Faith and Hope and Love, that they are nearer to understanding God than most of us are. Sure, it's a simple faith. And yet... how often do we muddle things up with lofty knowledge and heady theological doctrines? Knowledge, theology, understanding....all good things, for sure. However... watch the children play; listen to them pray; hear the faith that lives within them already. They trust that we will take care of them no matter what. They never doubt this, for they know we love them and have their best interests in mind always. I learn more about God from my children than from just about anything else. God knew what he was doing when He created marriage and families... how much we can learn about Him and His love for us when we contemplate marriage and the family, and when we listen and appreciate our children. Not only does their precious Faith speak volumes to me and teach me more than any textbook could, but their expectations of me, their trust and hope in me cause me to be a better person, cause me to want to be holy, that I might love them correctly and be to them what I ought to be!  Again, God so knew what He was doing, didn't He? My desire for good for my children causes me to desire to be a better person, and therefore my striving to be a holy person will affect my children, and thus the cycle goes on and on- hopefully!

Alright...that's enough late night philosophizing for now! At least now I don't feel so bad about the two year hiatus from this blog...sinec two years is like two days in the whole scheme of Time and Eternity, it's almost as if no time has passed since my last post!! Now to get some sleep while I can because...as Time goes... the one thing I will never claim to have enough of, no matter how curious Time may be, is sleep!! Whether Time seems to drag on or seems to fly by faster than a blink, precious Sleep always sneaks away and shortchanges me! At least that's what I have discovered ever since becoming a Mother!! Alas! Perhaps Heaven will include refreshing naps that are indeed long enough, and provide enough energizing rest! But just in case...I better get some right now!! zzzzzzZZZZZZZZ