Memorial Service for Francis Hope

Today we had a little memorial service before Mass, just our family and Father. He graciously offered to do this for us, in honor of the life of our miscarried child last month. We officially decided on the name Francis Hope.

Maia read this beautiful poem:

The Tiny Rosebud God Picked to Bloom in Heaven

By Helen Steiner Rice

The Master Gardener from heaven above

Planted a seed in the garden of love,

And from it there grew a rosebud small

That never had time to open at all.

For God in his perfect and all-wise way

Chose this rose for His heavenly bouquet,

And great was the joy of this tiny rose

To be the one our Father chose

To leave earth’s garden

For one on high where roses bloom always

And never die.

So, while we can’t see our precious rose bloom,

We know the great Gardener from the upper room

Is watching and tending this wee rose with care,

Tenderly touching each petal so fair.

So think of our darling with the angels above,

Secure and contented and surrounded by love,

And remember God blessed and enriched our lives, too

For in dying our darling brought heaven closer to you.

I recently found this wonderful quote from St. Bernard of Clairvaux (Doctor of the Church):

"Baptism for this child was only delayed by time. Your faith suffices.
The waters of your womb — were they not the waters of life for this child?
Look at your tears. Are they not like the waters of baptism?
Do not fear this. God’s ability to love is greater than our fears.
Surrender everything to God.”

And some Scripture I found that were comforting and reassuring...

~“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”    ~Romans 8:28

~“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and He shall direct thy paths.” ~Prov 3:5-6

~“We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you.”   ~Psalm 33:20-22

Lord willing, we look forward to meeting you someday on the other side of Heaven, 

our little Francis Hope. Pray for us in the meantime!!

Really Listening, and The Gift of Water

Do you ever just step back and quietly listen to what kids are really talking about (when they don't know you're listening)?

When I do this, I am often blessed beyond words with a gift or two....the gift of laughter, the gift of hilarity!, the gift of getting a little peak into the mind of one or more of my children, the gift of remembering what's important, the gift of a reminder not to take myself so seriously....and so on.

Tonight, the gift of laughter:

I am nursing the baby to sleep in the main bedroom. The 2 boys are showering in the bathroom connected to my room. As the baby finally settles in, I lay back and just listen to the constant- and, mind you, extremely loud and boisterous- noises echoing from the shower...

L (7yrs): Dum dum dum dum dum da dum, dum da dum, dum da dum.... (singing perfectly the main catchy theme from Peer Gynt, "In the Hall of the Mountain King" by Edvard Grieg.)

C (3 yrs): Dum dum dum.... (copying big brother)

L: (still singing, getting progressively louder and louder and adding in emphasis every other note, making Mama proud of the musical syncopation my son is naturally putting in the song) Dum dum dum....

C: Wook, Wee-um!

L: (still singing, louder and louder...)

C: Weeee-ummmm! Wook!!

L: Oh, cool, buddy. Hey!!! Look at this!

C: My turn!

L: No, no! Wait! Look! Ba-dum.....ba-dum....ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum...RAHR!(Jaws theme song; again, impressing Mama with his gradual dynamic increase)... I got you!!!

C: (laughs)  We-um! Wet me try!!

...and so on, and so on....until, no kidding, their 25 minute shower time was interrupted by their father, who finally informed them that the fun must come to an end and bedtime it now was.
(Mind you, I have no doubt whatsoever that by now the temperature of the water was nothing short of frrrrrrreezing cold!)

L: But Papa! Wait!! We have to finish!

I am frequently amazed at my children's fascination and love of water. Give one of my kids a cup and a sink, a shower and a (to begin with) full bottle of shampoo (big mistake), a hose and themselves, a bathtub and some toys- no, even just a bathtub and a cup....wait, even just a bath tub and their own imagination.... and voila! You have an entertained, amused, and happy child for at least 30 minutes (if  Mom or Dad can last that long!) And if we'd let them...they would stay in there for an hour, easy...without a care in the world about their pruning finger and toes, without a thought to the brisk temperature they are now willingly begging to stay in (no need to remind them that there was no way they were going to get in there until it was warm enough to their liking just 30 minutes ago!)

Really and truly....if you want to make a child happy, let them take a bath! But that means to them playing in the bath, of course. They don't care one bit if they actually bathe during the bath, of course! It's all about the water and its intrigue! I have recently been reminded of this, after years of insisting the kids take showers, because, well...it's just that much easier on us parents, and drier, and quicker, and less wet- all. over. me. and. the. bathroom floor.  So, yes, showers it has been for the vast majority of the last several years' worth of bathings. But after a very dirty soccer practice earlier this week (well, the practice wasn't messy, but the playing in the dirt and sand after practice was what did it), we came home and the middle three begged to take a bath. After one look at their dirt-caked fingernails, smudgy elbows and knees, and sand-sprinkled hair, I gave in. Hey, I thought, this way I can really get them nice and clean for sure.

They did get nice and clean, to be sure. I made sure no playing began until they were properly soaped up and down, and scrubbed. Then the fun began! And what fun they did have indeed! Amazing, the imaginations of children. In the span of 25 minutes, I witnessed several magic tricks with a cup, a very ingenious 'water slide', a choral rendition of the song "Let It Go",  a few spats between the siblings (that ended quickly enough at the threat of their bath ending!), some very unique sudsy hairdos, and some respectable fights between a My Little Pony, Superman, some pirates, and a dinosaur or two. (I was rooting for Superman and My Little Pony).  They had so much fun....and so did I, watching them enjoy one another and use their imaginations. Note to self: baths are great fellowship time for the kids, and exceptional entertainment for the supervising parent!! :)  And, I was reminded of the different 'pace' of baths vs showers. Baths are meant to be enjoyed, and are slower paced. Showers are efficient, fast, and to the point (hence another reason for insisting on showers for the kids). But sometimes, slow-paced is very good and necessary. And again, I was reminded of this, as I sat back and let them play, soaking it all in. Literally. :)

In the end, the kids were clean, happy, and content, and I didn't even have to chase them around the house to brush teeth, because I got them while they were all right there, happy to comply with Mama!
Oh, and since I was supervising the whole bathing time, my new bottle of shampoo was still intact, rather than emptied onto the shower floor to make a foot of bubbles to play in. Sigh.

Just as I was about to escort them out of the bathroom and to their rooms, they all circled around me...

L, Ch, and C (on their own accord, and in unison): "Ready guys? 1-2-3: Thank you, Mama, for letting us take a bath!!"  

Okay. Yep. That did it. I resolve not to dread or avoid baths for the kids from now on. They are a joy to the kids, for sure. And though I'm not ready to reinstate 'bath time' every night, I am certainly more willing to welcome baths more often for them. Even with the sopping wet bathroom floor (and my clothes)...and the need for supervision... yep. Bring on the baths!

You Know You Have Boys When... (part 2)

You know you have boys when....

-You dread the sound of running water.....

-You hear funny noises coming from the laundry room...and after digging through the cave of the drier, you at last (with absolutely no shock or surprise whatsoever!) discover the swiss army knife or the bottle opener, wine corkscrew, miniature hammer, plastic army men, or any other item inevitably forgotten in the well used pocket of a miniature male.

-You find yourself utterly flabbergasted at times by the lack of concern over personal hygiene and/or discretion by the male species in general...adult male in the household included.

-Your ears have been specially trained to now  recognize letters of the alphabet in burps...

-You have resolved yourself to the fact that the bathroom will probably always have a lingering scent of urine, no matter how much you try to clean and cover it up with lemon-scented pinesol.

-You receive personally hand-picked flowers (often with weeds still intact!) just about every walk. (I will never ever tire of this most flattering gesture from my boys!)

-You begin to look at sticks with much more appreciation and imagination than ever before- suddenly you see endless possibilities for that unsuspecting piece of wood...Slingshot, anyone? Need a back-scratch? How about a nose-pick? Or even a fanny whack? Ah yes....the quintessential toy/tool/weapon of a boy.

-You could have sworn you bought a large package of .... oh, there it is...on the refrigerator shelf...empty.

-You are constantly amazed at something that might be called "selective learning" (and listening, for that matter!) Incredible how the same person can memorize every possible dinosaur name or tell you every imaginable quote from The Hobbit....yet, somehow, teeth are gonna have to be pulled in the near future over memorizing Latin declensions and math times tables!!!!

-You enjoy the ritual every evening of re-tucking the sleeping children in, eagerly waiting to see what the boys are sleeping with tonight....the Superman book from the library (now most likely in need of being replaced after one too many nights of falling asleep while reading and rolling all around on the open pages!); the soccer medal won this week for Sportsmanship during the soccer game; the Hobbit journal from a birthday party, with pencil marks all over said sleeping child's face, who evidently fell asleep while writing in said journal; the bottle opener/wine corker kitchen appliance (evidently a Swiss army knife substitute, while the Swiss army knife went missing...only to be found the next day in- yep, you guessed it: the dryer!); the new Saint medal so generously given by the Church's gift store clerk; the new book, completed school project, favorite birthday toy, or newly created gadget... each one so ever endearing to a mother's heart, holding a priceless story behind it and capturing a little peak into that particular child's heart.........that is, if the boy isn't soaking wet, sleeping blissfully unconcerned and unaffected, in his own urine-soaked bed. Then, the sweet little items in his hands/under his pillow are swept off the bed without much ado, and you go into Mission: Sleeping Child JigSaw Puzzle...find a place for each child to sleep, now that one bed it unusable for the evening.    (okay, I must confess, there has been maybe once that I was too tired to move a child. There, I said it. Yes, horrible, awful, shameful me. I let the sleeping, wet child, sleep. And I went back to bed. And didn't lay awake guilt-ridden. But only once. Truly.)

-You have learned to 'look the other way' and say a prayer to Guardian Angels many many times a day!!!!!